State of my mind

I feel like this whole episode was my desperate attempt to run away from the problems that I was facing at that time. How stupid of me! I realize that now, but such is the strength of illusion that human mind can create, I actually thought that it was possible.

It is so easy to say: Stay focused, Know your priorities but when you keep on failing at one attempt after another.. trust me I know now - it is so easy to give up.. so easy to start looking for easier way outs. But, now after the confusion and frustration of those 6 months - I can say there are no short cuts in this life, and I guess when I was given a choice I rejected the short cut.. does that make me a masochist .. am I or am I not??

One thing for sure - I am much more self aware now. I made a mistake, I made another mistake but in the end I corrected everything.. however painful it was, particularly considering the circumstances I am facing right now . So now, it is the time again to face same set of challenges from whom I was running away 6 months ago.

Time for self evaluation- Am I at a stronger position professionally now, then I was 6 months ago. Now, that I have failed so many times.. I am just wondering whether I have become used to failing.. no i haven't.. it hurts so very much every time i fail.. but successful people never get used to failing, and they never take success for granted .. contd....